March 23, 2009

Hideous House

Here's the house in all its hideousness. Keep in mind that I took this picture from the passenger side of the car, at a distance of about a quarter of a mile. The columns have no real relationship with the rest of the house, save as a fringe around the edges. I will be back down there in May, so I may have to tresspass and take some additional pictures. But, if you need to see this in all its high-res glory, then e-mail me!

27 comments:

  1. That is ghastly. I meant to comment on it yesterday!

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  2. How very odd it is. It looks like a monument more than a house.

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  3. One of the problems is that the columns have no entasis so they just look top-heavy. Also the frieze follows no known architectural "order" -- Bad, bad "suburban mall" neo-classicism. Looks like it belongs in Vegas or on Rodeo Drive.

    At least the chimneys are kinda right for an Eastern Shore 18th- century center hall colonial -- though I don't think it's trying to be that.

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  4. wow - that is scary. Can you imagine what a Feng Shui master would say about this house?

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  5. you know, i'm always of two opinions about architecture like this

    first of course, ye gads, what were they thinking? it looks a home caught in a stone cage. if you wanted a home surround by a peristyle, consult some books, or an architect trained in classical styles to get it right (hell, take maison21 out to dinner- i'll draw something out on a napkin better than that...)

    my second thought is god bless 'em, that's the home they wanted, and they were willing to go for it! for better or for worse, it makes more of a statement than the hideous stucco-sided vinyl-windowed psuedo tuscan/spanish mcmansion crap i see sprouting all over souther california. if you are going to have bad taste, go for it in a big way! and i mean, hey- he could turn into a visionary of outsider architecture in 10 years... it's happened before!

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  6. I was really conflicted about leaving a comment:
    "if ya can't say something nice" and all that.

    So, I'll just say it's truly astounding.

    Jjjj

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  7. john the husband of KathleenMarch 23, 2009 at 7:20 PM

    It looks like they took the original capitol columns sitting in a field at the National Arboretum in Washington
    http://www.usna.usda.gov/Gardens/collections/columns.html
    and plunked them around the house. Yuck!

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  8. I will be interested to hear what Stefan has to say!

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  9. john the husband of Kathleen said...
    It looks like they took the original capitol columns sitting in a field at the National Arboretum in Washington
    http://www.usna.usda.gov/Gardens/collections/columns.html
    and plunked them around the house. Yuck!

    I know the columns of which you speak. They would be a vast improvement over the giant paper towel rolls holding up the roof.

    From behind the paper towel roll prison, one can almost see the house's "fenestration face" screaming to be set free!

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  10. I love Cathedral Hill's (who needs to e-mail me!!!) comment that the columns look like paper towel rolls. It doesn't look like the columns have an order (doric, ionic, or corinthian).

    Damn... I might have to go back before May.

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  11. Girlfriend - I just snorted. SNORTED!

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  12. Paper towels rolls... yeah... PVC plumbing pipe is what popped into my mind!
    Is there any chance that the roof was beginning to sag around the edges and this is just a stop-gap measure until the real architect arrives?

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  13. Madame Meg... good thinking, but I understand it was designed this way. It's been sitting in this state for about a year now, with all work being stopped. No-one around knows what's happening to the house.

    As I said, a little trespassing will be in order next time I am down there.

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  14. Just go down to the local lumber yard/hardware store/bar and ask about this house, who built it, why... It would be fun to make up the responses. Is it stone, or stucco covered plywood? Was it a fire reconstruction(I've seen some strange things done because of insurance money requirements)? Did they start with one idea and change their minds in the middle or run out of money and put a smaller house in the middle of a bigger one? I'm sure you'll get some great stories out of the locals.

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  15. We have one of those in an old established neighborhood in Kansas City which sits on a busy corner of a parkway. They just put those bad stucco-coated snap together panels in olive and dotted the outside with similar columns in that blue-white crisco icing color. I have to turn my head away when I drive by. What happened to aesthetic quality control???

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  16. Oh gosh, I looked at this yesterday and wanted to comment but didn't want to be mean. I pretty much agree completely with maison21 and, like soodie, I've seen a few bad (REALLY BAD) column treatments pop up on remodeled homes in my town. I always wonder "what were they thinking?" and how they found a builder to agree to do that for them?! To each his own, I suppose (just not next door to me, please!)

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  17. soodie :: said... What happened to aesthetic quality control???

    In my historic neighborhood this monstrosity would not have been allowed to be built. The Architectural Review Committee cited a neighbor with a $1000 fine just for repainting his window frames from the original 19th-century off-white to a modern pure white. I have to agree with the Committee as the pure white looks glaringly awful against dark brick.

    Meg, did you get my email address? I subscribed yesterday.

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  18. CH... I have subscribers? Who knew!

    mfairfaxf at juno dot com

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  19. Those chimneys seem a bit out of whack, too. Not to mention the roof line, the size of the pediment and are those windows buried in there?

    Just a snarky architecture student.

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  20. Geezy Peezy! Are Iranians moving in? The only reason I ask is the former Iranian Embassy in D.C. was oddly put together inside and garish. I really need to dig those photographs out.

    Yanno....and I know you are thinking, "Oh sure, Cube, hold back like you usually do," but I have to say it. The first thing I thought when I saw that photograph was that Jane Eyre was locked in the attic.

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  21. Beyond pretentious but I can just hear the owner saying " I want columns damn it ... lots of columns"!

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  22. We're working on getting the story, but apparently the owner designed it himself! Go figure.

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