I want to send my most sincere thanks for the unbelievable outpouring of love and support after Connor’s death last week. The e-mails, FB messages, Instagram messages phone calls and flowers have made me realize what an impact Connor made on so many people all around the world.
Even though I knew that it was going to happen sooner than later, it’s gutting me, and it’s hard to get used to days without the dog clickity-clacking across the hard-wood floors, waiting to go outside and generally being present in my life.
I think of myself as a glass-half-full person, and so am trying to think of the positive aspects of this experience:
- I can vacuum the rugs and know that they won’t be covered in dog-hair in hours.
- I can enjoy thunderstorms again.
- I can repair my window-screens without ordering the heavy-duty screening.
- I can have after-work cocktails without worrying whether Matt, the dog-walker, is available.
- I can wear black cashmere and corduroy without fear of having stray white dog-hairs on me.
- I have more cabinet space for my food, not Connor’s food.
- I won’t have to buy useless things to decorate him for the holidays.
As I walk through the house, I realize how many of Connor’s accoutrements have worked their way into the household – his rugs and blankets, his selection of pink pigs, only one of whom he really loved, the
useless numerous remedies for his fear of storms and fireworks, and of course, his various food and water dishes. All will be packed away in anticipation of another dog, sometime in the future.
In a little farewell ritual this afternoon, I took a bunch of his hair that I had been accumulating and tossed it to the winds for the birds to take and use for their nests. Connor shed in clumps and when I’d pull one out, I’d add it to a cup next to his chair to scatter for the birds.
I am greatly cheered by the beautiful images I’ve taken of Connor over the past years, by the lovely paintings by Sam Robinson, and the sweet pencil sketches by Lady Rosie and by the touching and thoughtful comments, emails and messages you have sent. Thank you so very much.