April 19, 2015

Thank You So Very Much

I want to send my most sincere thanks for the unbelievable outpouring of love and support after Connor’s death last week. The e-mails, FB messages, Instagram messages phone calls and flowers have made me realize what an impact Connor made on so many people all around the world.image

Even though I knew that it was going to happen sooner than later, it’s gutting me, and it’s hard to get used to days without the dog clickity-clacking across the hard-wood floors, waiting to go outside and generally being present in my life.image

I think of myself as a glass-half-full person, and so am trying to think of the positive aspects of this experience:

  • I can vacuum the rugs and know that they won’t be covered in dog-hair in hours.
  • I can enjoy thunderstorms again.
  • I can repair my window-screens without ordering the heavy-duty screening.
  • I can have after-work cocktails without worrying whether Matt, the dog-walker, is available.
  • I can wear black cashmere and corduroy without fear of having stray white dog-hairs on me.
  • I have more cabinet space for my food, not Connor’s food.
  • I won’t have to buy useless things to decorate him for the holidays.

imageAs I walk through the house, I realize how many of Connor’s accoutrements have worked their way into the household – his rugs and blankets, his selection of pink pigs, only one of whom he really loved,IMG_0387 the useless numerous remedies for his fear of storms and fireworks, and of course, his various food and water dishes. All will be packed away in anticipation of another dog, sometime in the future.

In a little farewell ritual this afternoon, I took a bunch of his hair that I had been accumulating and tossed it to the winds for the birds to take and use for their nests. Connor shed in clumps and when I’d pull one out, I’d add it to a cup next to his chair to scatter for the birds.image

I am greatly cheered by the beautiful images I’ve taken of Connor over the past years, by the lovely paintings by Sam Robinson, and the sweet pencil sketches by Lady Rosie and by the touching and thoughtful comments, emails and messages you have sent. Thank you so very much.

31 comments:

  1. I am truly sorry for your loss.Been there too often myself- I lost my 13 year old girl just a year ago.but found out that my heart healed faster with a new standard poodle puppy by my side.
    PS Poodles don't shed..but they are devilishly smart, which can be a disadvantage sometimes :-)

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    1. Ohhhh... I am not sure if I want a dog who is smarter than I am!

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    2. Standard Poodles are not just smart. They are in tune with you emotionally, and so easy to train that it is astonishing.

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  2. Meg,

    I'm am very sorry for your loss. I can almost not look at Conner's pictures He looks so sweet in all of the tears, I can feel the tears welling up and I never met him. I can only imagine how you feel. Take care. Kim MacGowan Naylor

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  3. So very sad to read about Connor. Thank you for sharing him with all of us. He truly touched many hearts.

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  4. Donatella con tristezzaApril 20, 2015 at 8:49 AM

    I am so sorry. I loved seeing Connor decorated for the holidays. And I loved seeing him outside exploring the snow. Virtual hugs to you. Knowing that the birds will use Connor's fur to build their nests was very touching.

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  5. Oh Meg! My heart just aches for you so in this terrible loss! Even though I never planted even one kiss on that soft sweet head or lovingly scratched his adorable ears or lifted that tender black nose to my own, I felt like I knew Connor, tip to toe.....I enjoyed every blog post and picture of him you were generous enough to share over the years. I watched his slow decline and dreaded his absence long before it became a reality. While nothing will fill the void that he left, your sweet memories will carry you through the loneliness and grief. You were so very good to him and I don't for one second believe he would have survived in that shelter had you not chosen to adopt him that day. It was meant to be. I believe you will be reunited one day when your time on this earth comes to a close....and what a wonderful reunion that will be. May God bless and keep you, Meg. Thank you so much for sharing this very special dog with all of us. I will never forget him!

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    1. Thanks, Vickie! I will miss him terribly.

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  6. Meg it is such a sad occasion, yet I hope it has made you realize how many people love you and have adored Connor.
    xoxo
    Karena
    The Arts by Karena

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    1. Thanks, Karen. I do feel the love and it makes me very happy.

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  7. just hear about connor death + you were so wonderful to him xxpeggybraswelldesign.com

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  8. I did leave you a message the other day but I also want to say that to me the best way to honor a beloved pet is by rescuing another one. I believe the more love we give animals, the more love we will get back. A new one will never replace Connor but it will rescue another animal.

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    1. Eventually, I will get another dog, and like my last two, it will be a rescue. I was on the board of the local SPCA for a while, so I know the importance of getting a rescue dog.

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    2. Am so sorry to hear of his passing, it rips your heart out for awhile. I think there should be a tag we could wear which explains our foggy emotions during this time. All of the sudden the house is too quiet and too clean - no familiar clumping as they lie down, or tags jingling as they slurp at the water dish and drip across the kitchen floor. Be forewarned - when you come across a clump of fur which has hidden from the initial cleaning, the tears may flow again. It will be an odd week or two - "what am I forgetting..." ? There is no forgetting them, just re-adjusting their place into your heart forever. Bless you!

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  9. Oh, Meg. I haven't been online much and just checked on you. I'm so sorry. It hurts so darn much when we lose them. Just please know that you gave Connor the very best life and he will always be in your heart. Take care of yourself during this difficult and sad time. Many hugs.
    Kathleen in Falls Church

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    1. Thanks, Kathleen... I appreciate your kind thoughts.

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  10. Reading about Connor gave me comfort when I lost Cassie and then Ethan. I wish you peace and the strength to get a new companion at the right time.

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    1. I will eventually get another dog, but a smaller one.

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  11. Meg, to say you have been "gutted" by Connor's death is the most apt description of that grief. I can remember my own "little" ones with laughter, but cannot talk of their deaths without "losing" myself. Just when I think I can't go through this again, I find a little soul who needs me as much as I need him. Thanks for sharing this, Meg. Angela Muller

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    1. Thanks, Angela... This is the second time I've done this, and both have been rescues. As I am sure the next one will be...

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  12. I hope you keep the special Baby.

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  13. He had a good, good life Meg. He was well loved by you and adored by all of us out (in) here.

    I'm only sorry he had to leave you so soon.

    Sending big hugs your way and a shoulder to cry on.

    xo J

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  14. What Jane says. He had a good, good life, and I am so sorry he is gone from you.

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  15. So sorry to read of Connor's passing. I hope the many fond memories sustain you through this time. David.

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  16. So sorry to read of Connor's passing. As a regular reader of your blog from Australia I have enjoyed reading about Connor's antics. You have so many wonderful memories of your time with Connor and he was so fortunate to be part of your life.

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  17. This is a very comforting little story! http://weruletheinternet.com/2011/05/24/a-dogs-purpose-according-to-a-6-year-old/

    Why dogs don't live as long as people; explained by a six-year old boy!

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